This is good, like something you really like to eat.

One thing I love is looking at something in a different way.  Its more than just being the devil's advocate every once in awhile; its about being able to see something as more than just what we think first.  In yoga,  we practice seeing something for what it is, which is not always easy to define.  For instance, when I put on a band-aid the wrapper is nothing but garbage, but to my cat Baxter its a brand new toy.  In another example, a spider to me is a scary, gross pest.  Yet in some cultures, spiders are a delicacy.  So nothing is just as is seems, as it is always so much more.


In work, you may encounter a similar situation.  You see something one ways, but your co-workers or boss see it an entirely different way.  You are all right, all wrong.  All eye-witnesses see a different crime.  While it may not seem so, it is truly an amazing thing!


Being an avid reader and writer, it's no surprise that I love seeing people write with this kind of open mind. Seeing one thing as being described in many ways.  So, I was glad to receive this email from a dear friend, which highlighted funny metaphors from high schoolers across the country.  Smile and ENJOY!

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
essays.  These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
teachers across the country.

Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Keep Calm and Carry On

This week has been like surfing during a tsunami.  Crazy amount of adrenalin and excitement, followed closely by a storm of “oh my god”.

So as some of you know, last weekend Matt and I got engaged! It came as a total surprise and we tried to keep it between us for as long as possible.  And for the record, he was totally smooth.  So, all weekend I was riding on a high.  It started out as shock, then pure shrill excitement, then this floating, weightless feeling of joy.  By Sunday, I felt as though I was glowing.  Throughout my childhood and even into my teens, I was never one of those girls who envisioned her perfect engagement.  So when Matt was standing there with a ring and a proposal to spend the rest of our lives together, I was beside myself with emotion.  Feelings surfaced from a place deep within my heart.   Physically I felt like I was standing towards the sun, arms open wide, heart open, and my gaze to the sky, the whole world to see my happiness.

My emotional balance had of course been thrown off; the excitement caused me to lose sleep, I was mentally moving at a speed far faster than normal and my body tingled with pleasure.  Everything was wonderful.  But with every high, comes a low.  And that low came mid-week.  It was as if suddenly all the reality and the gravity of what was to come, tumbled down upon me.  Questions of finances, family, time, and decisions all came to me quickly.  Then as things often work, Matt and I had our first disagreement with the “planning” of the wedding.  As minor as the situation was, my emotional panic was anything but.  I realized at that moment, sitting at my desk hot with frustration and confusion that this was going to be a lot for me.

I went out to a local bookstore in Wilmington, hoping that perhaps I would find something—anything—to level out my mind and ease me back into normalcy.  (Don’t get me wrong, I loved the ecstasy I had felt, but after came panic—so something in between would be alright with me.)  Almost immediately my gaze fell on a bright pink book with white letters which read, “Keep Calm and Carry On.”  Nothing could have been more appropriate.  The book fit into the palm of my hand and was filled strictly with one-liners from famous people worth quoting.  But to me it hardly mattered what words I found inside, for the words on the outside already worked for me.  I bought it without hesitation.

When I practice yoga and something becomes a struggle I am unable to ignore, I drop down into child’s pose.  It’s the pose of comfort, calm, and rejuvenation.  With your arms reaching out in front of you, palms and forehead on the ground, while your bum rests on your heals, it feels as if you are surrendering to yourself.  The moment is yours to just take a deep breath in, and then let that breath go.  After I have recovered, I push myself up into a downward dog.  To me this is a sign of carrying on—pushing your palms into the mat, heels pulling down, and stretching through your spine is like waking up in the morning.  It awakens you slowly.  When I saw the words “Keep Calm and Carry On,” I couldn’t help but think of child’s pose and downward dog.

I knew then, as I had known all along, that I will get through every stress that comes my way for not only do I have a man who is an amazing support to me, to us, but I have my yoga asanas that are always there to calm me.  

Much of this journey is going to be balancing emotional highs and stressful lows, knowing that in the end I will have a new beginning with the one that I love.  I cannot think of a more exciting time for me and at the same time I know the process will not always be blissful.  I know have a tiny pink book, grounding yoga poses, and the love of my life to help me through.

And I did eventually open the book and so far this quote has helped me conceptualize our engagement, as nothing has changed, but everything has changed:

“After a day’s walk everything has twice its usual value.”—G.M. Trevelyn

We are what we watch

On the news this morning there was a story centered on girl-on-girl fighting.  The issue was that teenage girls are violently fighting each other in front of their peers, who record it and put it on the internet.  One of the girls highlighted in the story is a “reality TV star” on the show Teen Mom 2.  Obviously, there is already a lot wrong with this picture.  While I believe over 50% of the news is sensationalized, there is something seriously going on here that I barely know where to start.  It makes my heart hurt.  Unfortunately, I cannot control what other people do, nor can I control what is put on TV.  What I can control is what I say, what I do, what I watch, and ultimately how I think.  Buddha said, “We are what we think.  All that we are arises with our thoughts.  With our thoughts, we make our world.”  So with that, I must start with myself.

I have to work through what is the real reason this story upsets me.  Obviously the fighting itself is the opposite of good, but it’s also not uncommon.  Boys and men have been fighting publically for centuries.  Girl-on-girl fighting is nothing new in the 21^st century, but the access to YouTube is relatively fresh.   What used to be a private act, perhaps shared solely in gossip circles, is now blasted on the internet for anyone to see.  One unknown girl’s humiliation was part of my morning.   That’s sad for the both of us.  But for me it’s not about the fight itself.  The fact that girls are fighting each other viciously is undoubtedly stupid, but is not as disturbing to me as the general public’s encouragement of this behavior.  When the clips posted on YouTube of girls fighting were shown, it was the crowd of people egging on the girls that horrified me.  There was no regard for the screams of agony, no one tried to help, and people actually laughed and cheered.  In one clip, a girl’s mother drove her to the fight and gave her encouragement from the side.  Terrible, disgusting.  It’s a modern day Gladiator.

As part of my work, I am part of a project with local Wilmington teens.  It was supposed to be a collaborative effort between my fellow Allies and the teens, as we develop a project on respect.  What it has turned into is an eye-opening conversation on the realities of fighting, bullying, peer-pressure, self-respect, and survival.   They talk about their own fights with no problem, no attachment, and no regret.  What I realize is that it’s the something inside of us that has called this entertainment—the part of us that derives pleasure from this, the part of us that is okay with seeing another’s pain—that deeply, deeply upsets me. 

Ashamed, I must admit that I’ve watched Teen Mom 2 and cringed at the fights and the total lack of responsibility.  I have also watched Jersey Shore and listened to domestic fights.  These were all choices of mine.  I could have easily changed the channel or better yet, turned off the television.  I cannot blame the TV executives or the show’s producers for being socially irresponsible.   People have asked for this stuff.  All I can do is reshape my mind and refuse to encourage this kind of behavior.  As Buddha had said, with my thoughts, I make my world.  I know that any desire from within me to watch these shows originates from negative feelings I carry: jealousy, doubt, fear, lack of self-worth or confidence.  If I eliminate these dirty, nasty feelings, I doubt I will be tempted to watch shows like Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, or any other similar trash.  In developing a steady yoga practice, I can feel my backpack of negative emotions slowly getting lighter, as I leave these feelings behind.

How can a slow exercise to ambient music work to changing human behavior?  I know it sounds absurd and maybe it is.  But I believe it can, slowly and unknowingly, so just hear me out.  In any yoga class, you often hear the word Namaste (nah-mah-stay) and maybe you’ve never known what that means.  At the end of class, we bring our hands to our hearts and we bow together and say, Namaste.  What a strange thing to do, right?  At first this made me uncomfortable because I felt like I was in church or unknowingly entered an eccentric cult.  In fact in the beginning I totally faked it and if I was at home, I would just turn off the DVD and walk away.  It was during these days that I still was competitive with my own body—getting angry if it wouldn’t do a pose or if I didn’t lose weight.  I didn’t understand the yoga practice.  So back to Namaste, what did it really mean?  I had always heard my teachers say, the light in me sees and honors the light in you.  Huh, what light?! Literally Namaste means I bow to you; “nama” means bow, “as” means I, and “te” means you.  Ultimately it’s recognition of another humans worth, as well as your own.   From one soul to another.  Now, as I learned more about the origins of yoga and read more about Buddhist philosophy, I have begun to truly feel the importance of Namaste.  When I say it I try to picture my competiveness evaporate, my hostilities vanish, and my jealousy die. 

So, I cannot force others to embrace non-violence towards each other.  But I am making a promise to myself today, that I will be non-violent to my body, my mind, and my soul and hope that that can be enough.

Namaste.

Head games and Heart Wars

I was talking with my sister the other day about dating and after admitting frustration in her own dating habits she said, “too bad dating is one of those things you don’t follow your brain with.”  We’ve all heard this dilemma so many times, thinking with your head verses listening to your heart.  Unfortunately though, I believe we’ve mistaken the two.  People are too quick to tell us to be rational, use our heads to do what's best.  More often than not, our poor little heart gets a bad rep (as if it makes the bad decision!)  I felt there was something wrong with this picture, so I began to investigate. When I look back at my mistakes, I believe it was my mind playing old tricks with me.  My heart was right all along.

Let’s think about this together.  What sort of conversations do you have with your mind?  If you are anything like me, my mind is not always kind and levelheaded.  It’s been known to say such things like: I am not good enough, I can't do that, I could lose more weight, etc.  On the other hand, it likes to ignite my ego with things like jealousy, doubt, fear, pride, and narcissism.   While my mind is one of my best friends, a true thinker, often it’s when I allow my mind free range that I think too much and get myself in trouble.  There have been opportunities that my heart craved, that my mind convinced me would be too difficult to pull off.

Starting with the Yoga Sutra's yamas and niyamas, I hope to find where this comes from. I hoard thoughts of my past, both good and bad.  They exist as what has been or what could have been, torturing me into not seeing clearly the current moment.  Like pictures on the wall, my mind has a way of not letting go.  In yoga, this is discouraged in the yama, Aparigraha and basically means to practice non-possessiveness. This is a yama I have to work on continuously.  Its safe to say I am not alone, we all have that one thought or image from our past that we are not ready to let go.  It could be something someone said to us, something that happened to us, etc.  In relationships, I hear people say the words, "it was perfect back then," "it was the best time of my life," OR "I will never move on."  They are attachments to the past.  As my favorite literary character Albus Dumbedore said, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

The mind is an amazing thing and I truly believe our thoughts possess unimaginable power.  We can use our minds for progressive thinking and discover amazing things.  So, why do we let our minds stiffle us in relationships, our aspirations, our future?

I don't know.  I mean, I sometimes find myself making the same mistakes, being reminded of the same things, knowing all along that I had learned this once before.  Take the example of your First Love.  Oh, what bliss!  For most people, this relationship dragged on for much longer than it should.  We often blame it on the heart.  Damn my heart for loving them too much to let go.  But was it really your heart?  How many times did you physically ache from the agony of the break-up?  How many times did you replay every moment of the relationship, the words, the kisses, the fights, over and over again?  I can bet for most of us the physical ditress went away faster than our mental distress.  In fact in some cases, our mind is jealous that the heart recovered so quickly that we hurt our bodies in other ways.

See?  The heart knows whats best for us and we ignore it to wallow in agony.  That's just dumb!  Why don't we just tell our mind to shhh up and focus on something more worthwhile.


As I am learning to listen to my heart more and letting the thoughts I hoard in my mind go, I find myself much more fulfilled in my relationships and beyond.  The mind loves drama, but the heart loves consistency.  Like its constant beating, the heart is quietly telling us to love this moment, then move onto the next.  Without attachment, we can love what we have now and perhaps see what we need.

The heart will tell you when to move on far before the mind, so try and find that inner beat and follow it.  See whose decision making skills you like better.

Featured Blog entry from theDailyOM

Check out this entry from the Daily OM that encourages us to remember the light side of things.  It was just an interesting and fun read, so enjoy!

Personal Mantra

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer”

—Zora Neale Hurston

Never before have I said so many words, so many times over in my mind. Beautiful, simplistic, infinite. Over the past year, this quote has become my personal mantra, my inspiration to trek forward. In its simplicity it has kept me grounded and yet stirs a drive deep inside my soul. Starting this blog is a way to share ideas about ways to live courageously.

Last year as I was coming to the end of a 10-month apprenticeship program, I was given this mantra from a friend. Together, 30 of us had completed a program that was equally grueling and rewarding. It was an adventure of constant questions, as it was my first experience after graduating from college. The change from college classroom to office cubicle caused my mind to fill with doubt about my future.

• How will I know what I am doing at work?
• Will my friends forget about me?
• Can I really become self-reliant?
• Is the non-profit sector right for me?
• Will I ever be able to afford my car insurance?

It did not help that everyone around me seemed to be in an equal state of panic. Before starting the program last year I started a blog, which I had hoped would chronicle my adventure in the workplace and fellowship. I posted once. I took a glance at it the other day and tried to remember what my intention had been. Originally, I thought I would show my friends what my 9-5 was like. Perhaps I would offer some grumpy humor for the new and unexciting chapter in my life. I’d lay all the office drama out on the line, describe the hardship of living on a stipend, and maybe describe my job pranks.

Deep down, I was terrified. This move into the workplace meant I was no longer a kid. So, how was I going to come to terms with that?

For a long time, I felt unbalanced and left any hopes of insightful blogging far at bay.

But one day, my confusion was replaced by confidence. I have no idea how it happened, but like the summer between junior and senior year, suddenly I had all the answers… Or at least I stopped searching for answers to questions. Suddenly, I felt content, balanced and alright. Changes and growth took place without me knowing. The first year in the program challenged me to question a lot about myself that I decided to come on for a second year. Maybe the answers would simply come.

So, why blog now?

Here I am another year older, with a birthday fast approaching, and I have high expectations for next year. Unease is a challenge, but its not forever. Its something I constantly remind myself, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

I really want to not only chronicle my adventures, but I want to provide a way to tackle our barriers. I am on a path to find balance, happiness, and maybe even some answers—and I want to take everyone with me.

Bring on the action!

Welcome to Living Courageously, a blog I hope to use to inspire people to live to their fullest. I’m a young woman with a lot to say and a whole bunch of opinions. I believe there are 6 types of actions that define who we are and what life we lead: Leaping, Reading, Stretching, Balancing, Eating, and Loving. I purposely used the progressive tense of these words as a way to emphasize the importance of doing. Taking a proactive attitude in life will not only give you the energy to live to your fullest, but you will inspire others along the way. Another reason for the progressive tense is to emphasize that the proactive attitude is ongoing. We must constantly move through life, so it might as well be with purpose. And, it might as well be fun! In this blog I hope to:

• Inspire you to take a leap: explore things you may have been scared to try
• Open your eyes to read new ideas
• Show you ways to help you reach your fullest potential
• Show you the excitement in balance
• Share yummy food recipes for body and soul
• Talk about love, love, love

But what do I know? Don’t listen to damn thing I say.