So, I’ve had this blog for a long time and for the past year
it has been left dormant. It’s not
because I don’t love it, or I ran out of things to say, but rather, life
happened. In the past year and a
half, I got engaged, switched jobs, planned a wedding, my parents separated, I
married my love, and I started teaching and training at an amazing CrossFit
affiliate in addition to staying loyal to my other yoga center, Empowered Yoga. So I mean…I had things to do.
By starting so many different things and new stages in my
life, I am learning heaps and it’s tremendously exciting. Even more exciting, is the amount of
questions I have. So, my dream is to use this blog again as an
opportunity to explore all this with you all again.
I hope I am not alone here, but I thrive on curiosity. I need stimulation and speculation, doubt and
fear. And nothing tests that like
walking into a situation as a brand-spanking-new beginner. Trying something new forces me to test my
mental and physical strength, and nothing is more eye-opening and humbling. It’s uncomfortable to walk into a room full
of people who (whether assumed or not) are not as brand new as me. I go through the stages of thinking, will I be decent at this, will this be uncomfortable,
will people be nice to me, and of course, why the heck did I want to do this again?! My first time walking into the CrossFit
gym, I did so knowing that I had committed to teaching—so I had to do it. (Don’t get me wrong, I really wanted to be
awesome at all those crazy lifts and upside-down things, and I wanted to look
really good.) But when I walked into a room with a ton of buff, good-looking
guys grunting and lifting heavy things and ladies cranking out pull-up after
pull-up, there was that moment of ‘OOPS,’ and mapping out the quickest exit
route. That moment when you say to
yourself, ‘Nevermind, I am okay just the
way I am.’
But we’re not.
That’s why we wanted to try
something new. We can see our
potential deep down and wanted to give that awesome self a chance to
shine. The only thing standing in our
way is our mind. We all know the first
time at anything is a little terrifying, but we can allow that fear of the
unknown to light a spark deep inside.
Over the weekend, I took a friend from CrossFit to a
workshop on asana and mediation. She is
one of the veteran CrossFitters; being there from the very beginning and feels
very comfortable lifting heavy things.
I, on the other hand, am now a veteran yogini and still feel more
comfortable on my mat. We take each
other out of our comfort zone and have been teaching each other a lot. The added benefit of seeing someone going
through something we went through for the first time is enlightening and
humbling all at the same time. But, I
digress. So in this workshop we
revisited the principles of meditation and I was reminded of the way the mind
works and how often it stands
in our way. Meditation is not about
thinking of nothing, but rather just noticing your own habits of thought and
working to create a calm and peaceful mind.
When you let your body remain still and you begin to notice
the mind, it doesn’t take long to realize the mind is a noisy, noisy
place. While practicing meditation in
the workshop, I envisioned my mind as a sky, with my thoughts being these
swirling clouds of noise. It’s here in
the clouds that I have my thoughts of mediocrity, doubt, asking what’s for
dinner, am I going to like this and of course, when is this over (just to name
a few.) I notice that my thoughts circle
back, even when I notice them and try to “put them out.”
It took time, but by the last sitting in meditation, I found
my breath. For a brief moment, it was
calm. I could hear the breath in my
lungs and it felt like energy. I was
calm and relaxed and the best part, I felt open. But then I thought, ‘this is awesome!’ and it
was all downhill from there. The
thoughts were back, but this time they were positive.
Where am I going with this?
I’m almost there—patience, santosha.
January is a great time for people to decide to change their
life’s path, exchange old habits for new, and to set goals to be better people
in the New Year. It’s usually a
combination of our minds and bodies telling us what we want and deserve to be,
and we set forth with our New Year’s Resolutions. We set A LOT of goals and we intend on
keeping them. But come February, the
mind begins to grow tired with all our big plans and high hopes—learning something
new is hard! The mind begins to quit
before the body ever does. In between
workouts we give our body rest, but we never really thing about our brain.
Therefore, I propose that in order to reach our new goals (physical
or not—give your mind a break—and meditate.
We need our mind to push us, to give us motivation, and to drive
us. But if overworked, its influence
begins to backfire. So maybe try something
new and different—try sitting and breathing.
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